NATALIE REYES, BALLERINA

“I don't know anyone in a big company that's Latina.”

The world of ballet is one that requires an incredible amount of hard work, dedication, and perseverance. For Natalie Reyes, a ballerina with Oregon Ballet Theater, her passion for ballet motivates her to maintain a demanding schedule and continue on in the face of rejection. Natalie and I had the opportunity to speak about growing up in Salem, the lack of diversity in the ballet world, and how the financial requirements of ballet present a hurdle to diversity. Although Natalie sees few ballerinas that look like her, she hopes to show other Latina girls that ballet is a world for them.

Carly: Tell me about your background, where were you born?
Natalie: My name is Natalie Rose Reyes. I'm Mexican American. I was born and live in Salem, Oregon.

Carly: Where is your family from?
Natalie: My dad is Mexican, he came from Mexico to Mt. Angel. He has a really big family. My mom is from San Francisco, but my grandparents are from Mexico. My great grandfather came from Los Fresnos, Michoacan to work on a railroad with proper documentation. He then went back to get his son which is my grandfather and he settled in Modesto, California. They lived in San Francisco in the 1960s, then my grandparents moved to Oregon in 1981. There were very few Latinos in South Salem besides my grandmother's sister and her family, the Baez’s, who own one of the first Mexican restaurants in Salem. It's still there today. There were only a handful of Latinos and three benches of the Spanish mass. Now it's all filled.

Carly: Did your parents speak Spanish to you growing up?
Natalie: They did, but mainly English, it was just easier, I guess. I'm kind of mad at myself, I would definitely love to have that as my second language. Although, I understand everything and speak a little. My grandparents speak to me in Spanish, and I'll answer in Spanish. It's easier that way.

Carly: What was it like to be raised in Salem?
Natalie: Growing up, I went to a school where most of the kids were white. Because of that, I didn't really keep up with my Spanish. Both of my parents speak Spanish, but it was hard for me to incorporate both languages. But Salem is nice. It’s a really beautiful area and it was nice to grow up there.

Carly: Tell me a bit more about that. What was that like to be Mexican in the midst of mostly white students, or did you even notice?
Natalie: I went to Sprague High School for my freshman year and there aren’t many minorities at all. You can really notice. Then I did two years of online school because I was training in Portland and spending lots of hours at the studio and commuting. It was easier to do online school. Then I realized, no, I have to go back to Sprague and finish senior year because I wanted that high school experience.

Carly: How did you get started in ballet?
Natalie: My mom took me to dance classes in Salem. It was really fun. All my family would come to the performances. I'd have so many people watching for a little 10 second bit. I continued dancing and I really loved it. I was cast as Clara in The Nutcracker in Salem. That was my first role. It was a huge thing. We had so many people watching. All my family was there. My teacher said, "You really have a gift." Ever since then, I've just been ballet obsessed. My mom has helped me tremendously, she's done everything for me.

My mom found this studio in Portland called Sultanov Russian Ballet Academy. My mom would drive me up every day to the studio in Beaverton. I did that in the summer and I really loved his program. That was my first summer intensive.

The director, Artur Sultanov, put me on pointe shoes, I was 11 or 12 at the time, and that was a big deal. When a ballerina gets their pointe shoes, it's everything. It's the moment.

I continued training with him for several years and I did a lot of his shows, and then I switched studios to the Portland Ballet, where I continued training. My mom was still driving me at the time because I wasn't old enough to have my driver’s license, so she was driving from Salem to Portland twice a day. I had to be there from 9:30am to 9:00pm. My mom would drop me off, go back home, and then pick me up again at night. It was exhausting but she saw my dedication and hard work. I really wanted it to succeed.

Carly: What was it like to be at Portland Ballet Theater?
Natalie: I was in the career track program at the Portland Ballet Theater. It was really good with lots of training, lots of hours in rehearsal, and then quite a bit of understudying for me. At the time, I wasn't old enough or mature enough as a dancer to take on lead roles. I had the opportunity to learn from other dancers, watch them in class and rehearsals, and see how they work. The teachers really helped me improve on my technique as a dancer there. At that time, I was doing my academic studies online since I couldn’t attend school with the long hours.

I was progressing a lot because it's a lot more training. Every January we have ballet intensive auditions, and so many girls show up to that. About 80 to 100 girls all wearing numbers in a black leotard are packed in a room. The adjudicators are telling them yes or no, if they can come to the program. It's a big deal.

I've been doing auditions since I was 11 or 12, and I've been told no countless times, but the places that I'd get a yes to were insane. I'm so fortunate to have had a yes from San Francisco Ballet for three summers in a row. That was a huge deal because it's really prestigious to make it into, I was freaking out. I was like, “My work is finally paying off!”

I'm not sure if you know about ballet companies, but a lot of ballet companies are white and there aren’t many Latinos. For aesthetic reasons, they like to have all white ballerinas on stage and not very many Latinas. I think that might have had to do with a lot of the no’s I’ve received. I've had a lot of teachers tell me that the talent is there, that I have the passion and the drive for it. But then I’m told no. It's really hurtful to see these big name companies not really taking diverse dancers. San Francisco Ballet is one of the few ballet companies that do. I really love their school because of that.

Carly: Is that something that's discussed much in the ballet world?
Natalie: Not very much with Latinas specifically. Misty Copeland is an African-American ballerina and she has been spreading the word about diversity. There have been several auditions scouting for black people, but there aren’t the same opportunities for Latina girls or Mexican girls. I have discussed it amongst my friends. I’ve pointed out when all the girls look the same. White skin, brown hair, you know, it's just the typical dancer. There are very, very few minorities. Hardly any in our class. I think it needs to be talked about more because it's important for everyone to have equal opportunities. Especially in the dance world, it's so small. I don't know anyone in a big company that's Latina. There are very few. It's my ambition to be the first and keep working hard for all those brown ballerinas. That's why I keep going.

Carly: I think that's a brave thing and so important to do that work. I'm sure it must be hard to face that rejection time after time.
Natalie: It’s heartbreaking at the time, but I would continue each year. I wouldn't give up and work harder.

This year I was accepted to the Boston Ballet for the summer program. I had no’s from Boston Ballet for the longest time, and this year I got a yes. I've auditioned with them since I was about 13 years old. All of these years, and finally I got a yes! I'm not sure what changed, but maybe it is because of conversations about diversity. I'm going to go there for the summer and will see if they're trying to include more diverse dancers. I was very excited to get a yes from them. They're a very great company.

Carly: That's great, congratulations. When I think about myself, I carry some very Mexican traits. Even though I wasn't born in Mexico and didn't really grow up connected to the culture, I'm hardworking and I persevere. Traits often associated with Mexicans. I hear you saying a lot of similar things. Do you feel like you have any traits or characteristics you get from your parents that have really helped propel you in your career?
Natalie: I have. I think I do have that hardworking blood in my system. When my grandma Rosa came here from Mexico, she came with my great grandma. She left her whole family to start a new life and to get a job. They didn't know anyone. It takes a lot of courage to leave your whole family, to go to America and set your roots here. I'm still so inspired by my grandma's story and her hard work and passion and drive.

Carly: You are in a world where you either work hard or you don't succeed.
Natalie: Exactly. Of course, there are times when money definitely helps. Some dancers parents are donors and that maybe will help with roles or with having the teachers like you. Coming from a family that's low-income, ballet has been expensive. Each pointe shoe is $100 for a pair and I go through one pair of pointe shoes once a week or so. My mom can barely afford it. Plus the tuition is a ridiculous amount, and there is the cost of tights and leotards. It adds up. Summer programs are also really expensive. It's even harder on my family since we don't have a lot of money to keep it going, but I don't let that discourage me. I keep trying my best and working hard because that's what matters. I think that's what will take me far.

Carly: Absolutely. The economic factor is a dividing line. Your family is able to make it work, but for other families, it’s out of the picture.
Natalie: Ballet is really expensive. I think that also makes it less diverse, because a lot of families can't afford it. For others, it's a little easier to come from a family where the cost of tuition, pointe shoes isn’t a problem. It's hard for me sometimes and hard on my parents.

Carly: And since ballet is so time consuming, you can’t go out and get a job to cover the expenses.
Natalie: Yeah, exactly. Ballet takes up all my time. I was almost willing to quit a couple classes this term to find a job and start helping to pay for it, but there's no way. Ballet takes up so much time. It's not a sport that you wake up and you're good at. You have to put all your focus and energy into it every single day. The hours really do matter. You have to keep training and it doesn't leave a lot of time for anything extra. I rehearse or dance Monday through Saturday and then Sunday is my day off, my family day.

Carly: What do you usually do on your day off?
Natalie: We'll usually go over to my grandma's house and she'll make food. Oh my gosh, I love my grandma's cooking. She's the best. She makes albondigas, she has amazing recipes. They go all the way down the family line. She makes great tamales, enchiladas, and chile rellenos. It's so good. I’m trying to learn her recipes so I can continue the history and pass down recipes. I'm trying my best to get them down. I've had a couple fails. I'm like, "Grandma, what can I do better?" She's really helpful with that.

Carly: It sounds like your family's been incredibly supportive of you.
Natalie: Yeah, they really are. My mom is my number one supporter. She has done everything for me. All those no’s, I feel like that she never once got discouraged by it. She was like, you know, not everyone sees what you have. It's just going to take that one person to give you a yes. She could see it when she watches me dance that I'm very different, that it comes from within. I have something that I really want. She never gave up on me and she's still supporting me to this day. It means the world.

Carly: Have you been to Mexico before?
Natalie: I haven't, but hopefully soon, this summer. I know my grandma is going in May back to visit with her family. My older brother is going because he'll be back from college. I think my mom might go, too, but I might be trapped in rehearsal. I'm really upset because she always invites me and I really do want to go.

Carly: Similar to you, my family didn’t talk much about our history and where my family came from in Mexico. Do you wish your family discussed your background more?
Natalie: Yeah, they don't really talk about it, I've definitely had to ask. But I think when my grandma did tell me her story, it's something that really inspired me to know more. I still have to talk with her and have a chat about everything, about all the family history. I think it's so important so that I know. I think something like that is very special. I think it just really needs to be heard.

Carly: Your grandmother and great grandmother's story sounds incredible.
Natalie: It is. I don't know how she did it, how she left all the kids. It must have been so hard to do that. They both could barely speak English. Now my grandma speaks English really well, she's fluent.

Carly: She must be so proud of you.
Natalie: Oh, yes. My grandma loves me so much. She shows all of her friends at the clinic and at the hospital, because that's where she works. She'll show them all my pictures and my Instagram, and she'll say this is my ballerina granddaughter. When I meet them, they're like, oh, your grandma has said so much about you, like they know you. Oh my gosh, so sweet and heartwarming.

Carly: Even though it was difficult for me to be one of the few minorities where I grew up, I've started to realize as an artist an businesswoman that my ethnicity can help initiate a conversation and can be an advantage. I hope for you that it can be a differentiating factor that draws people to want to have you in their company and notice you in a positive way.
Natalie: Definitely. I mean, taking those yeses and going and making my mark and going to those programs, again, it's really insightful. If everyone is white, you're right, everyone standing in a room, it's so noticeable. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm the darkest one in the room. I've definitely had that inner voice before, but trying not to be distracted by that and keep working hard because I know that I'll have to work harder than everyone in the room. Usually that's how it is, so that's what I do.

Carly: I hope that that becomes something that draws people to you rather than a reason to exclude you.
Natalie: Becoming more drawn, exactly. Yeah, it just takes those couple people to look at you and notice.

This interview has been edited and condensed. Published 19 July 2019.